we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.