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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (914): View more from New York

  I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.

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• (718): View more from New York

  this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican

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• (310): View more from California

  When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.

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• (559): View more from California

  I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress

  (443): View more from Maryland

  This is what my life has come to

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