Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker

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(352): View more from Florida

Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?

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(337): View more from Louisiana

He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah, that was you

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(865): View more from Tennessee

to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.

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(817): View more from Texas

He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.

(972): View more from Texas

At least he's honest about how long he'll last.

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