i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize