im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
