I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
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