"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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