Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
