her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
