Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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