This girl is more easily done than said...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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