you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
