come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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