just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
