Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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