idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
