Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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