Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
there is puke in my bra ... again
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