Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
