singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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