You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
