I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How external is "for external use only"?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
