Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
