what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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