apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
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Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
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KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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