I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I love having hate sex.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
