16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
