omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
