so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
God, you're like boner-b-gone
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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