let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
