he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
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Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
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I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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