last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
