Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
