It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
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He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
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Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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