she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
worst night to have a conscience
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
