How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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