Dual....:-)
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
