pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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