Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
