The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
