Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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