she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
