Where are you?
In a non slutty way
birth control should be required to get into college
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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