Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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