How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
