Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
