U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
