I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
