so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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