wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
