I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
