I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
