Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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