Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He passed out mid-signature
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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