I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
50% drunk capacity currently
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
