You're completely useless in the revolution.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
