About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
