I want to make a zoo with you.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
