I wish I only lived at night.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
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He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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